Wake Me
by The Girl in the Red Jacket
Summary: It's 4:09 in the morning. I'm too tired to write a summery. Mm, you're warned.


Disclaimer: I own nothing 

Author's Note: Okay, I don't know where this came from but here it is, done far to late...early in the morning on a night I should've been working on my english essay. Oh well. M/m See if you can guess who. Thank you Mandi for threatening me if I stopped and went to bed and then beta'ing it very, very quickly so I didn't fall asleep at the keyboard. Song is Half-Life by someone Duncan from the 'What a Girl Wants' soundtrack. Colin Firth in leather pants dancing around is hilarious.

Edited to add: Another songfic where the lyrcis have been removed. The song it was is listed above.

Wake Me

It was late afternoon when he woke up. The fading sunlight marred by clouds; darkness and shadows turning the normally sunny room into something of a cave. He didn't move, just lay still in the dimness, trying to decide whether it was worth getting up to wander around the big empty house.

He lay there, confused for a few moments, wondering when Jason had left. They had spent the day together, the first time they had really been together since he had returned. Jason was still weak from the loss of the Gold Ranger powers, putting up a good front but frustrated about it, he could tell, so they had taken it easy, just lounging around for the most part and joining the gang at the Youth Center for lunch.

He sighed, rolling onto his side. Jason wasn't the only one putting up a front for appearances sake. He too, was miserable. He wasn't sure why but he was. Interstellar travelling accounted for the jet lag, and he had thought flying to Florida to visit Kim that one time had been bad, but there was something else dragging him down.

He heaved another sigh, squirming, trying to get comfortable and debating the merits of just laying there for the rest of the night. That, he decided, was part of the problem. He knew, had known for some time, that this was easily how he could end up spending the rest of his life.

Oh there would be more to it than that undoubtedly. He wasn't going to squander his intellect. No, he had, over his high school years, seen just what he was capable of on that level. He knew what he could do, how he could change things, help in so many fields, if he wanted and he did. Those years he had spent saving what was needed had fuelled he desire to help change it and he still felt... responsible to do what he could.

He smiled slightly. That was another by-product of his years spent defending the planet, both when he was in spandex, his smile widen at the thought of how ridiculous he must have looked, and behind the scenes when he had lost those powers due to something outside his control. But that was only part of it. Hanging around Jason for all those years, he reflected, had a way of inspiring him to greater heights, even as he settled into being someone he was comfortable with.

Comfortable with, but not willing to share, not entirely. He didn't know why, exactly, but none of his relationships ever worked out. They seemed to start out well, for some reason he would never understand how girls actually liked him that way, but then... they just disintegrated and left him home alone on the couch again. Wondering what had gone wrong this time and waiting for Jason to hear about it through the Ranger grapevine and come talk to him about it.

In that sense, he knew he would be alone on this couch for the rest of his life. There was just something wrong, something that didn't fit, when he had been in those relationships and, after awhile, he just could not keep them together anymore, he did not have the patience or the inclination to try.

Jason would come over and, depending on how distressed he was about the whole thing, grin with exasperated affection or console him as he paced, more frustrated than distraught, and rambled to himself, trying to figure out what he was going to do. Eventually, Jason would get him calmed down, no matter what kind of mood he was in, and manage to convince him it was fine, he would find the right person for him someday, before leaving.

Not that Jason was much better in relationships. He never seemed to have them! Even Emily, he knew, hadn't been a girlfriend, had been someone he had been helping out so she could get Eddie off her back. Jason just seemed so... he didn't know, he just seemed to know what he was talking about. And he certainly was a die-hard romantic. He chuckled, no one would think it but he really was, maybe that was why all the girls at school had fawned over him even though he never showed the slightest indication he was interested.

Then there was the gossip he would vaguely overhear when he was at his locker, waiting for the others. Basically, half of the student population was convinced Jason was pining away for someone who would not return his affections. It was ridiculous, it had to be. Why anyone would not return Jason's love was beyond his comprehension. Who wouldn't want to be with someone like that? Besides, they told each other everything, he would know if Jason had a crush on someone.

Although, it was slightly odd to go all the way through high school without one crush. Jason had never, as far as he could recall off hand, waxed on about one. Although sometimes, when they were talking about his latest break-up, he would get this expression in his eyes...

Frowning, he tried to call it up in his mind's eye. The midnight eyes, veiled with affection, were slightly sad. There was a resignation in them, something that he couldn't share, maybe? But also... past the kindness, past the caring, the willingness to help there was a spark of... hope? Dim but there and past that there was...

Oh.

It was there with a sudden, overwhelming clarity. Why Jason never told him about a crush, why he was always there, no matter how inane or complex the problem, why he... why he always politely turned down invites to sleep over unless he was desperately needed or the others were there too. It was what was in those sad eyes when he was going on about another girl, who he had been crushing on since... since... he wasn't even sure when.

He laid there for a good hour, until night had fallen, calling and recalling up images of his dark eyed friend. He didn't know if he was looking for something that would refute the sudden epiphany or... he wasn't sure what he was looking for but it was always there, that love, that flash of emotion behind everything else when he was looking at him.

He began recalling it in the simplest instances, laughing by their lockers as Richie and Trini mooned over each other, both trying to play it cool. It was there, the pain that they had found each other, that he could love all he wanted from afar but couldn't touch, too scared of what he would say or do, too scared to lose what he could get already, even if friendship wasn't all he wanted.

And it was there, so blatant he had no idea how he had missed it, when things were more serious. When he had been injured in battle Jason's anxious face had been the first he had seen upon regaining consciousness. It had been later that Trini had told him Jason had stayed there overnight, holding his hand and constantly pestering Alpha for information, refusing to leave until he had woken.

When he was having problems with his father and had sneaked through Jason's window, looking for comfort. Jason's face had softened and he had coaxed his reluctant friend into an embrace, the tears he hadn't wanted to show spilling forth. The slight gasp as he had nestled as far as possible into those strong arms before falling asleep. He blushed in embarrassment and regret, knowing it must have been horrible for Jason to have him so close and not have his heart.

His eyes grew a bit misty as he recalled what should have screamed Jason's feelings to him. The other boy trying to say goodbye to him. The midnight eyes growing wet with tears as he tried so hard to say goodbye. His voice cracked and he laughed humourlessly, finally giving up and just hugging him tightly enough to crack bones, his breath catching in his throat before he let go and practically fleeing to the plane.

Those moments, and a thousand more flooded him, making him wish he had known before. At least so he could have at least stopped tormenting his friend if not taking things further between them.

The thought startled him, catching him completely off guard. He didn't want Jason, did he?

An image of his friend presented itself clearly in his mind. Catching Jason as the other man finished with the Command Centre showers. The then Red Ranger had blushed furiously all the way down to his...

And the answer was there in his head, and other parts of his body, ringing clear as a bell.

Yes. He did.

Oh. That made things easier for both of them.

He wasn't sure why, after that realization, he was gripped with a sudden desire to do something about it. He did not want to let another moment go by when this lay between them, not acted upon.

So he left, almost before he realized he was going out the door, wearing only one sock and not bothering to brush his sleep mussed hair. He was on Jason's street, trying in vain to fix his messy hair with his fingers, before he realized he was missing the sock. He hoped Jason wouldn't notice, forgetting he had already seen him at his worst and best and seemed to love him anyway.

He knocked on Jason's door, there were butterflies in his stomach but they felt like they were drunk on sunshine. He was sure he was grinning like a fool but he couldn't bring himself to care as the door opened...

And he found himself face to face with Helen Scott. He blushed, for some reason, mostly because of the thoughts he had been entertaining about her son earlier and nearly mumbled, "Hello, Helen, is Jason here?"

She smiled at him and shook her head, "Sorry, Billy. He's over at Tommy's house. He was planning to stay there over night."

He deflated slightly. He had not been expecting that! "Oh."

Helen looked at him strangely, confused by the look of supreme disappointment. "I'm sure they wouldn't mind if you stopped by."

"Yeah," Billy thought for a moment, then perked up. "Yeah! I think I will!"

A temporary glitch, nothing more. He nearly bounded off. Helen Scott shook her head, she loved her son's friends, especially Billy who'd become a part of their family practically, but they could all be very strange sometimes.

* * *

"And I thought I was bad!" Tommy muttered, flopping down on the bed beside his best friend.

"Shut up," Jason rolled over and sighed. "I can't help it."

"Eventually you'll have to, bro. He just doesn't like you that way," Tommy told him firmly, but his voice remained gentle.

"I know. It's maddening." Jason rubbed a hand over his eyes. "I love him, Tommy. I really do."

"I know. If anyone knows, it's me," Tommy sighed, "but this is killing you. You've got to stop mooning over him or else you're going to pine yourself to death. You need to get out and meet someone or something. You can't do this forever."

"I don't want to meet someone else," Jason complained. "And I'm not mooning over him."

Tommy raised an eyebrow. "No? Could've fooled me and I should know, I've been hearing it since I joined the team."

Jason blushed, "Sorry, I don't mean to..."

Tommy waved the apology away. "I'm your friend, Jase. It's my job to listen to you about this stuff. Hell, you've listened to me often enough when I'm going on about Kim or Kat. I just don't like seeing you hurting like this."

"I don't think I can stop that." Jason shrugged, his eyes distant. "I wish I could. I'm so sick of feeling like this, not loving him but feeling... empty and alone because I know he'll never love me back."

Tommy reached over and rubbed his back for a few moments. "You're not alone. You know, you could just tell him..."

Jason shook his head, "No way. I'd rather have him as my friend than not have him at all."

"I thought you were planning on coming out soon?" Tommy asked, frowning.

"I am but there's a difference between coming out and telling someone you've loved them since... God, seventh grade." Jason shook his head. "He doesn't need to know."

"Whatever you say," Tommy said, not convinced at all.

For a few moments they were silent, until Tommy got sick of Jason's brooding. "I think you need to get laid."

"What!" Jason exclaimed, laughter in his voice.

"I think you need to get laid," Tommy repeated, grinning. "What better way is there to meet someone and take your mind off Billy?"

"You're ridiculous, you know that right?" Jason told him.

"Well, yes, but the fact remains that you could be meeting people and you're moping over Billy instead." Tommy said, falling serious. "Really, you need to get out there and meet someone."

"Where do you propose I do that?" Jason told him, hoping to close the subject as he did whenever Tommy brought it up.

This time, however, Tommy was ready for it. He got up, went to his desk and pulled something out of a drawer, tossing a packet to Jason who sat up and caught it instinctively. "Here."

Jason opened the envelop and his jaw dropped. "Where did you get these?"

"I made discreet inquires at AGU," Tommy replied, sitting back on the bed.

"You got me flyers for gay clubs?" Jason asked, incredulous. He pulled more out and looked at what was in his hand.

"Now you know where you could go," Tommy told him.

Jason looked into the envelop. "Tommy there are condoms in here and..." He pulled out a silver package, "Tommy this is lube."

"That's just in case you do decide you need to get laid," Tommy grinned at Jason's blush. "And because I knew you'd turn that colour when you saw them."

"You amaze me," Jason said, still blushing. "I can't believe you did this."

"If it was left up to you I think you'd end up celibate," Tommy observed dryly.

"I can't... I can't go to one of these places," Jason whispered, still looking at the flyers. "Not alone... not..."

"Jason," Tommy said, serious, making Jason look at him, "if you're not ready to go then don't, but the option is there and now you know about it if you do want to go."

He hesitated for a moment, "And if you don't think you can go alone well... I'll go with you."

"What!" Jason exclaimed, not believe what he'd heard.

"If you need someone to go with you I'll go with you," Tommy repeated. "Look, we both know I'm not into guys, I'd just go for moral support because I know you're not that comfortable with going to clubs and stuff yet."

"Tommy, you don't have to do that I mean..." Jason shook his head. "That's above and beyond what I'd ever expect."

"I know I don't have to but I'd want to if that's where you need to go. You're my best friend, Jase, you've always, always been there for me through all of my shit that's been, at times, a lot heavier than this," Tommy told him. "I don't want to see you miserable all the time and if going out and helping you meet someone is what it takes to stop that than I am more than willing to do it."

"I don't know what to say..." Jason swallowed once. "Just... Thank you. This means a lot to me."

* * *

Tommy wasn't sure who he expected to find when he opened his front door but the former Blue Ranger, looking dishevelled and anxious was not it. "Billy? Are you okay?"

"Yes," Billy answered quietly, looking anywhere but Tommy. "Is Jason here?"

"Yeah, he's upstairs," Tommy told him, looking confused. "I thought you guys spent the day together?"

"We did. I need to speak to him, please Tommy," Billy asked, looking at him for a moment.

Tommy saw something in his eyes that made him smile. He felt a bit like cheering or demanding what took Billy so long. He'd seen that look in Jason's eyes all too often when they were talking about their sandy haired friend. "You've got to promise me something first."

Billy looked startled, "What?"

"Promise you won't hurt him," Tommy continued.

"I... Oh..." Billy stammered. "I... I don't plan on it..."

"Good, I'll get him and make myself scarce for awhile. It's about damn time, too," Tommy commented, before bounding up the stairs, leaving Billy unsure whether he should be utterly confused or just amused by his friend.

A few seconds later Jason appeared, still shouting something at Tommy and looked as confused as Billy felt. He stopped in his tracks when he saw Billy. He glanced back upstairs, trying to decide whether or not Tommy had set him up. "Tommy says we should go talk on the back porch."

Billy didn't know where to begin, as Jason took the lawn chair across from him. He hadn't thought of the conversation, or anything that would happen after he found his friend. Faced with him, doubts began to creep up on him. What if he was wrong about the whole thing? What if Jason didn't like him? It was just as likely he was in love with Tommy, and he suddenly felt an irrational pang of jealousy. What if Jason already had someone and it wasn't him he was in love with?

"So... What did you need to talk to me about?" Jason asked, rubbing his hands together slowly.

"I... I woke up and you weren't there," Billy stammered. He could have smacked himself, this was not going right at all!

"Oh, sorry. I didn't know you wanted me to stay. I figured the jet lag would have you out for awhile," Jason apologized, still looking confused.

"No, don't be sorry, I mean, I didn't expect you to stay I mean..." Billy sighed frustrated with himself.

Jason smiled gently, and Billy had to swallow as he saw the look in his eyes somewhere other than his memories. "What're you getting at?"

"I woke up and started thinking and... Do you love me?" Billy blurted out. His eyes widened when he realized what he had said.

Jason looked completely stunned. He was so surprised he couldn't find his voice, and just sat and gaped at Billy as the silence stretched between them.

"I... What?" He finally managed.

"I... uhhh... Asked if you... you loved me..." Billy felt his cheeks heat up and knew they were turning beet red. Oh God, what if he didn't? "I realize it must sound incredibly... uh... weird but I was thinking this afternoon and remembered some things and... I'll just go now..."

"No, wait," Jason stopped him as Billy started to get up, looking flustered himself and a little afraid. "Why are you asking me this?"

"I have to know. I just... I have to know if it's true or if I..." Billy stuttered. "Just... Please tell me?"

Jason sighed, "I do... have feelings for you but... Billy, I'd never, ever act on them. I know you don't think of me like that. You don't have to worry about it."

Billy chewed his lower lip nervously, "But... But I want you to act on them, your feelings I... I think... I feel the same."

Jason's eyes widened, "Oh."

Then he smiled hugely, looking at him relieved and hopefully and with more love than Billy thought he deserved. "Oh."

Neither would remember who moved first just that they ended up standing in the middle of Tommy's back porch just drinking in the sight of the other, as if they had never seen each other before. They stood there for... a few moments? Minutes? Neither could tell, or cared.

Then Jason reached out and gently touched Billy's cheek, sighing softly when skin contacted skin, unable to believe he could do it. Billy closed his eyes momentarily, turning to kiss the rough palm before looking up at Jason and smiling.

Jason leaned forward, not breaking eye contact, his hand sliding to the small of Billy's back. Billy tilted his head, his own hands busy, one twinning in the short, silky hair at the back of Jason's neck, the other resting over his heart, feeling the heat of his body through his t-shirt.

Jason smiled as their lips pressed together, relishing the first contact for a moment before licking gently at Billy's lips. They opened willingly and he moaned as their tongues met, hesitantly at first but growing bolder are the seconds wore on.

He could have drown in the sensations of that first kiss, drinking in the taste of his new found love's mouth, a taste he had been waiting for most of his life, a taste he would need for the rest of his life. He almost couldn't bear it when they had to pull away, unwilling to lose contact for long.

Their lips met again as they clutched each other tighter, trying to eliminate all space between them. Billy's hand had moved to his back, was clutching at the fabric of his shirt as their tongues explored each other.

They had to break apart again, and Jason moaned at the lost contact. Billy was panting, his face flushed, and Jason took the opportunity to explore more. Lips ghosting over his temple, sprinkling kisses at his jawbone, finding the pulse point on his neck and sucking gently.

Billy moaned, clutching Jason tighter, half unbelieving that his friend, no more than friend, was setting off these kind of reactions in him, half berating himself for not saying something, anything sooner. He gasped as Jason sucked strongly on a spot on his next that made him quiver slightly, noticing, vaguely through the haze Jason was creating over his senses that someone was... applauding?

The sound disappeared as Jason claimed his mouth again, all he could concentrate was the feeling of their bodies melding together. He thrust his tongue into Jason's mouth, making the other man moan, kissing him deeply until he felt light headed. He sucked in a breath of air, eager to resume the kiss again.

"Okay you guys, I'm happy for you but you're giving my neighbours a show!" Tommy yelled at them.

Jason had to break away, laughing. His arms were still around Billy, his face flushed pleasantly. "Dammit, Oliver! You and I need to have a talk about timing!"

"Yeah, right after we have a talk about where it's appropriate to start making out," He called back. "My backyard being one of the not places."

After they got inside, Tommy quite pointedly told them his parents were out for the night and that there was a guest bedroom on the ground floor. Then he handed Jason and envelop and watched his friend's face go bright red.


End file.
